Portland Fashion and Lifestyle Blogger

Oct 24, 2018

2 YEARS FEELS LIKE 2 MINUTES

I feel like I just got here. I spent my first year adjusting, trying to decide if I liked it, if I was doing the right thing. If I would get used to the rain, or make friends, or get a routine. Last year I wrote this post, and I called it "the selfish year."  I recapped 5 things I learned but this time around I have 5 short stores and tea to share.


1) A lot of people ask me about what made me leave my last job in Houston. There were a few reasons but anything I went through honestly shaped me into the strong willed person I am today. My answer is almost always that 'the corporate culture was very poor and not a fit for me personally.' I am currently at a company where we work hard and play hard too. Micromanagement isn't common because we are trusted to be the experts at our jobs. Do politics exist? Of course. It's still corporate America, but I never feel like I am not allowed to be myself. I think the ability to freely do my job and be trusted to be an expert is the best thing. I know that seems really small but it really made the difference in me waking up excited to go to work every day. I loved what I did before, but the struggle of having to fit into a box, knowing you reached a glass ceiling, and knowing your ideas were not valued even though they were amazing weighed heavier. I think not being able to do my job, and entrusting ops to do the job of merchandisers was when I knew I needed to move on. I am happy because people trust me to run my business and let me know that I can do it well, and they collaborate when I need help. 

2) I have gained a lot of confidence in the last 6 months. At my last job, I would often be around colleagues that would talk down to me in different ways or treat me less than. This came in the form of pay gaps within specific titles, different rules for different people, rude/ passive aggressive emails or text messages. I never said anything but TBH, it wouldn't have mattered. Fast forward to now... I found myself speaking up for myself and finding that my voice actually gets heard sometimes. In two years I've only had to do this one time, but it's been impactful for my personal growth. Yes, it resulted in an outcome that I wanted, but over that, I drove that by standing up for me. Thats probably my most important lesson I learned the the last year. Go hard for yourself. 

3) Do I still hate Portland? I don't hate it... but I don't love it here. I like it. Just like. I have a routine down, I eat better, I go to the gym often, yes I have made friends (but only at work... should I try bumble for friends?), I have done more touristy things, I feel like my apt feels like home. I still miss being in a big city, I miss the diversity of Houston, people that say y'all and really good BBQ. 

4) I think the best part about moving here, and its honestly just a personality thing, is that I keep it way too real.  I made it too hard of a habit to be 100 about everything but it's made things so easy. I don't pretend to be anything I'm not and if you like it, I genuinely rock with you, enjoy your friendship and we vibe. If we don't vibe I don't bother to pretend. This is a good and a bad thing. Good for me because I out here protecting my energy, but bad because there are like maybe 5 people that know I don't rock with them and it's mad awkward when I'm stuck in their presence. I just can not pretend to be a friend. I don't have the bandwith with everything that I deal with. I reserve that energy for people who deserve it. But protecting your energy is real! I'm never pressed because I don't need to pretend. Its been great, so far but who knows what another year will do. 

5) Im still a work in progress. I have been reading the daily stoic everyday and focusing on the art of living. A few months back I read "My Miracle Morning" and am focused on making my life better mentally. The Daily Stoic helps me reflect daily on little aspects of my life and in the middle of a lot of chaos I feel ok. OMG. Growth. 

XO- TAMARA GRIFFIN

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